And No One Will Know
by S9Starbuck
Summary: "'Tell her I love her, Neville.'" Hermione froze, and she placed a hand on her forehead. Neville continued, "You know he wasn't talking about Ginny, right?" Hermione nodded. "I do...Oh God, I do." Affair!Fic, H/HR.
1. Tell Her I Love Her

**Okay, this is my first Harry Potter fic ever. I haven't read all the books, so I'm not as deep into the mythology as some are. I may get some of the details wrong about certain things, but I hope you guys can take it easy on me as I didn't have a beta for this. If you notice any really annoying typos, let me know, I tried to proof read this as best as I could because I hate it when I have typos or misused grammar in my uploads but...I can't catch them all. **

**It's not much, but just an idea I had in my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I posted it. I warn you, it's really angsty! And it's definitely a Harmony fic :)**

**Well, here goes! **

**Oh, I think the format for this might be a tad wacky, and if so then I am truly sorry! I think I fixed it though. **

* * *

By the time Neville reached him, it was too late. The other two men with him swore at the sight that greeted them; there was so much blood. A pained moan reached their ears and Neville knelt down beside the man who'd he used to look up to when they were kids.

"Harry," Neville started, "We're gonna help you, I swear. We're gonna help you."

Harry's eyes snapped open, and stared blindly at Neville's face for a moment before seeming to recognize his auror partner. Harry quickly shook his head, clinching his jaw at the pain as he said, "Not this time. Not - not this...time." His green eyes met Neville's and he put his bloody hand on Neville's shoulder. "You can't help me."

Tears stung Neville's eyes, as he shook his head quickly. "I _will_. I'm not giving up on you, Potter."

Harry smiled weakly at that, and Neville saw the blood filling Harry's mouth covering his teeth. "It was poisoned, Neville. There's nothing you can do." Harry said and Neville looked down at Harry's stomach. He'd been _stabbed _in the kidney, and then in his gut and then his ribs. Blood covered everything, his clothes, the ground, his hands and his face. So much blood. Neville hadn't seen so much before. This couldn't be happening! Neville had been just a few minutes behind him! Harry Potter wasn't supposed to be able to die! Not like this, not in a dark alley, stabbed to death by a poisoned blade. _No. No. No. _It was like a mantra in Neville's head; maybe if he said it enough it'd come true. He didn't know enough about Healing charms to do any good. He knew the two rookies behind him wouldn't either. He cast a glance in their direction, and their faces were filled with shock and disbelief and Neville knew they'd be useless right now. This was just their first week as aurors. They weren't supposed to see this so soon.

"Poisoned, Neville." Harry seemed to fighting against strong convulsions now. "I can feel it now. It _burns. _It won't be long until it...reaches my...h - heart."  
Then, Neville knew. These was Harry's last moments. These were his last breaths.

"P - poisoned." Neville breathed, finally understanding. None of them were Healers, and there was no time.

"Tell her I love her, Neville..." Harry breathed out one final breath, and simply...faded away. Tears fell down Neville's face as he stared at Harry's lifeless eyes. The two men behind him let out a stream of curses, saying something about how this couldn't be real. But Neville knew, this was real. Harry Potter was dead.  
And it was his job to tell his family.

_Four Days Later_

It was the day of Harry Potter's funeral, and it was raining, and cold. _Just another thing to make this day more miserable, _Neville thought. He held up an umbrella over Ginny Potter, who was holding her eldest son James' hand, her shoulders shaking from her sobs. James was trying to put up a silent but strong front, a single tear running down his cheek as he gripped his mother's hand tightly. James' features reminded Neville of Harry, even the glasses he now sported.

Albus and Lily were wrapped around their mother and brother; the Potter's unified even in this tragedy. Neville knew that their family bond ran deep.

But he also knew of something that ran far deeper. Something that no one else in the world knew but one.

"'Tell her I love her, Neville.' Those were Harry's last words. Once again showing his selflessness, even in death, he thought of others." Neville was brought out of his thoughts by Ron's moving eulogy. Neville could tell the red head had put a lot of hard work and emotion into this speech. Ron's voice was strained, and he choked on his words sometimes.  
"I'm sure Harry thought of his children, how much he loved them, how much he had influenced their lives. He was an astounding father. Supportive, kind, loving, and a rock to those fortunate enough to be in his life. I know how blessed I am to be called his friend.

Always showing his true character, Harry gave his life in search of good. In search of a better world for his children, and his wife. He gave his life for a greater purpose. He was the most honorable man I've ever known."

Then, Ron started sharing Harry's history with the group huddled around the damp grave site, where he came from, how his parents sacrificed themselves saving him. How the defeated Voldemort. Neville looked over to Hermione Granger - well, Weasley now - and the grief on her face made Neville almost choke. It was undefinable pain, such strong anguish, that she didn't even attempt to hide it away. Tears covered her cheeks, making her already red face from the cold even more so. Her hands were wrenching against each other, as she bit down on her bottom lip, her shoulders shaking violently.

Neville wanted to go to her, and wrap an arm around her shoulders, but before he knew it, Ron was finished, and had taken his place by his wife's side. Hermione shrugged away from Ron's arms, muttering a quick "sorry" to him before hurrying away from the group, into the pouring rain.  
Neville handed his umbrella to James, hearing something about "ashes to ashes", before starting after Hermione. She needed someone right now, and while they'd never had really been close as children, he would consider them close friends now. Close enough that he knew the secret, anyways.

When he found Hermione, she was standing by an enormous statue of a crying angel, one hand over her stomach, the other over her mouth. Neville walked up behind her, and before he could even put a hand on her shoulder she was turning into him and burying her head in his chest.

Neville was surprised, but put his arms around her, only having an inkling of what she was going through. Finally, after a moment, Hermione finally got out through her sobs, "Oh Neville, how am I supposed to go on?" The pain in her voice broke Neville's heart, and he shook his head.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. Hermione let out another pained sob into Neville's chest. Neville had an idea why she was accept comfort from him, because he wasn't comforting her for the loss of a best friend, he was comforting her for her loss of the love of her life. "I will tell you this though," Longbottom started, tears sting his eyes and fog rushing out of his mouth every time he spoke. "Harry would want you to go on, Hermione. He wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life grieving like this. I know, I _know _you're in a kind of pain that can't easily be described. I won't pretend that I know everything you're going though, I only have an idea. I can't imagine what I'd do if I lost my wife but -"

"That's just it, Neville!" Hermione suddenly blurted. "I haven't lost my husband. I've lost Harry, who - who was _so _much more to me. I feel awful for it, but when I first heard the news...I - I almost...wished it been Ron instead." She finished in a whisper, letting out another sob. "Just what kind of person _thinks _that? I'm a horrible person, Neville."  
Neville shook his head, "No, you're not. You're Hermione Weasley, one of the best people I've ever known. So what, you had a selfish thought. Hermione, you're _grieving. _No one thinks straight when they've lost someone they love."

Hermione stayed silent, and pulled away from Neville's comforting embrace. She turned her back to Neville, and wiped her eyes.

Neville then recited something Ron had said earlier: "'Tell her I love her, Neville.'" Hermione froze, and she placed a hand on her forehead. Neville continued, "You know he wasn't talking about Ginny, right?"

Hermione nodded. "I do...Oh God, I do."

"He loves you, Hermione." Neville said, and Hermione was trembling. Neville let out as comforting as a smile as he could as she turned to face him. "I told him I'd tell you, and now I have."  
Hermione gave Neville one last hug, before they started walking back to Harry's grave...

_One Month Later._

Hermione Granger Weasley stood by the grave of Harry Potter, the man she secretly loved, the man who'd secretly loved her. She knelt down in front of his tombstone, her hand brushing away the snow that covered it. There was some dead flowers beside it, also covered with snow, and Hermione took them out, replacing them with the red roses she had purchased. The red was a stark contrast to the white that was everywhere.

Already Hermione felt the tears begin to sting her eyes. Life wasn't any easier yet, but she was somehow making it through, despite what she thought the day of Harry's funeral. She'd asked Neville how she was going to survive. Well, she found out just by breathing she was surviving, just by living each day on at a time she was surviving. Even if it didn't feel like it.

"Oh Harry," Hermione whispered quietly, her gloved hand running over the words marking this grave as his.

_Tell her I love her, Neville. _She only wished she'd been able to say that to him one last time. "I love you, too. I'll never stop loving you." She read over the words etched into the stone there: _Here Lies Harry Potter. Loving Husband, Father, and Friend. _

The bitter cold surrounding her made her shiver, and she whispered: "Goodbye, my love. Same time next week? Always." She stood, and made her way towards her car. As she was walking, she was struck by a thought that sent a painful shock to her heart.

_Harry Potter's last words will go down in history. The books will say he was speaking about Ginny Potter, his loving wife, mother of his children. But he wasn't speaking about her at all, he was speaking about the woman he loved, and was loved by, with all of their joined soul, Hermione Weasely; and no one will ever know. _

_Except for Neville._

* * *

**So, what did you guys think? Please review, so I shall know if I should never even try to write Harry Potter fanfiction again, hahah. Thanks for your time. **

**Oh, and honestly, I'm not sure why I chose Neville, but he seemed like a good fit to me. **


	2. A Not So Secret Secret

**I was bored, so I decided to write this out and post it as a continuation to my first chapter. I hope that everything in this chapter makes sense. As to why Harry and Ginny were ever together and as to why they remained together. Again, no beta for this, so I apologize if there's some grammar errors or canon contradictions. This is the best I can do right now :)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Ginny Weasley Potter wasn't an idiot; nor was she blind.

She knew, the first time something had happened between her husband and her sister-in-law. It was apparent. There was a difference in the way she touched his arm, or the way he teased her, or maybe the way his emerald eyes held her chocolate gaze for a second longer.

It made Ginny's blood boil. It made her hate Hermione. But what could she do? She should have known this day was coming; Ginny had grabbed Harry at a young age, as soon as she could. She had been afraid to lose him, to disappoint her family - who were so expecting Harry as a son-in-law. What could they do but submit to the pressure and throw themselves into a marriage that was never on a solid foundation.

Ginny had been very insecure in her and Harry's early relationship. Maybe she didn't show it, maybe she did. But she was always ever aware of the fact Hermione had something from Harry that Ginny never could quite seem to; his unquestioning devotion.

She had thought that once she'd brought James into the world as a testament of her love for her raven haired husband, that he'd finally forget everything about Hermione. Ginny didn't care if it was a selfish thought, she would have challenged any woman to be the "third wheel" in her own marriage.

The truth was, she could never join on their trips-down-bloody-memory-lane. She wasn't a member of the "Golden Trio".

Harry never forgot Hermione Weasley, not in the least. Hermione and Ron would come over once a week for dinner, and Ginny would always smile and pretend she wasn't feeling second best next to the clever brunette.

She'd borne three children for Harry, been his doting wife, slept beside him at night, and tried to keep him happy. Only on the occasional nights that she slept alone did she allow herself to breathe to the crushing darkness that surrounded her, taunted her, filled her mind with worries as to what Harry was doing, "We were never meant for each other, were we?"

Then she'd look to the empty space beside her, slide her fingers against the cold sheets, and sigh. Perhaps that wasn't so far away from the truth.

Then, Hermione had happened. In a way that Ginny had always feared. Ginny didn't catch it the first evening they all spent together, but she quickly grew suspicious. Whether Harry was her soul-mate or not, she knew her husband. Even if he didn't truly know her, she knew the faint crease of guilt around his eyes. It told her everything she needed to know.

Several weeks after the evening they spent together, she was almost certain Harry had slept with Hermione because they weren't speaking. The whole evening, they didn't touch, didn't interact, and went around like the other didn't exist. It told Ginny that the guilt had finally gotten to them, but for how long would stop them, she didn't know.

Ginny closed her eyes and let herself drift off to the first time she'd confronted Harry...

_Hermione, Ron and their children had just left. Ginny was hand-washing the dishes, and while she knew that this would be a giveaway to Harry that something was bothering her (she only washed the dishes by hand when she was upset), she didn't care. She found it strangely soothing, almost like she was washing away the dirt that had collected in their life. _

_Harry had just put the children to bed, and Ginny heard him enter the kitchen. She didn't turn to acknowledge his presence in the dark kitchen, with only the moonlight that poured through the window providing light. _

_"Hey," Harry said softly, stepping up beside her, grabbing a towel and starting to dry some of the plates that were stacked beside the sink. Ginny simply nodded, fighting past the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. She just didn't understand what Hermione had that she didn't. Hermione hadn't given him children, she hadn't given up a whole life for Harry. _

_But Ginny had still been betrayed. She just hadn't confirmed it. _

_"Those are dirty," Ginny spoke quietly, grabbing the two forks Harry was trying to put away. Harry didn't respond, simply came up beside her again. Ginny thought that maybe he was finally beginning to see that she knew. She _knew_. _

_"Ginny -" he started. But Ginny wasn't interested in hearing excuses. _

_"What does _she _have that I _don't_, Harry?" She hissed, cutting him off. She was still trying to keep herself calm, she didn't want to wake the children. She wanted to scream though, she wanted to scream and beat his chest with her fists, just to find out what Hermione had given him that she hadn't. _

_Harry froze like a deer in the headlights and Ginny didn't have to look at his face to see the guilt there. _

_"We never meant for you to find out," He finally said, dropping his hand towel on the dark counter. _

Did he honestly think that was a good thing to say?

_"So, what, you'll just shag behind my back and _hope _I never find out? It was all over you two tonight!" Some of the pain she felt finally broke into her words, her sharp tone rising above a whisper. _

_"I didn't mean it like that -" _

_"Then how the bloody hell _did _you mean it, Harry?" _

_"We're sorry. We didn't mean -"_

_"For it to happen, yeah right Harry. Don't insult me by wasting my time with words like that!" _

_"Ginny! We're trying to make this right!" _

_"Do you realize that you aren't just being unfaithful to me, but to my _brother _as well? Did that even cross your selfish minds?" _

_"We stopped it, Ginny!"_

_"For how long, Harry? Just for how long?" Ginny no longer tried to keep her voice down. "You've always loved her more, Harry. Loved her more than me, loved her more than this family, loved her more than _everything_. I'm sick of pretending I don't notice! I'm sick of pretending I can hardly be in the same room as her without seeing red! She stole you from me before we even began!" _

_"Ginny, I love you! I swear!" Harry seemed to be getting a touch angry at this point. Ginny was almost relieved; now her harsh words were even more justified. _

_"Just like you love your kids?" Ginny asked, her tone turning accusing. "You didn't just cheat on me...you cheated on your children."_

_That stopped Harry in his tracks, he paused for a moment, before hanging his head and finally saying, "She said that, too." _

_"Well at least she still has some sense," Ginny sighed, crossing her arms. Harry looked back up into Ginny's eyes, placing his hands on her shoulders. _

_Suddenly, Ginny's mind was filled with images of where those hands had been. Harry, sweat covered, panting and caressing Hermione, holding her, _touching _her in places so intimate that Hermione arched her back, letting out a loud moan of pleasure. Ginny could have vomited right then. She jerked his hands off of her, "I don't want the hands that _touched _Hermione on _me_," she spat. _

_Harry had nothing to say, and Ginny knew why. She was right. Another wave a nausea swept over her, enough this time that she instinctively leaned over the sink and dry heaved. Then the tears flowed down her cheeks freely, as she covered her mouth with her hand and sunk to the ground, leaning her head against the counter. Sharp sobs shook her shoulders as the full depth of his betrayal sank in. _

_"I lost you before we even began." She moaned with grief as Harry sunk down beside her. "I lost you the moment you met her. You were never mine." _

_"Ginny," Harry whispered, tears in his own eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. It won't happen again." He again tried to put his hands on Ginny's but she slid away from him. Harry stood, looking around, as if trying to figure out how to comfort her without touching her. The pain on his face stabbed at Ginny's heart, despite her anger. She looked up at Harry almost apologetically. _

_"I'm sorry, but you can't touch me without me thinking of - of..." she trailed off, making a circle with her fingers, her meaning clear. _

_"Let me hold you, Ginny. Please," Harry pleaded. "We stopped; we're not going to do it again. It's over." _

_"Why?" Ginny asked suddenly. _

_"What?" Came Harry's almost confused reply. _

_"Why is it over between you two?" _

_There was a small silence before Harry answered, "We couldn't live like that." It was all he had to say; he didn't have to explain that statement. Ginny understood. They couldn't live with the guilt, the lies. _

They're too noble for that, _She thought, almost bitterly. _

_Suddenly, she realized Harry was washing his hands and she looked at him in confusion. He stood there, scrubbing his hands for almost a minute, before washing the soap away and wiping his hands on a clean hand towel. He crouched down beside Ginny again, holding his hands up as if for an inspection. _

_"See? She's gone, Ginny. Scrubbed away." _

_Ginny knew it was his last idea, and she let out a pained half laugh, half sob. She looked in his green eyes, and reached up a hand, placing it flat against his palm. The nausea didn't hit her this time, and she closed her eyes as he wrapped his warm arms around her, rocking gently back and forth and kissing the top of her head. _

_Ginny knew that Hermione was _not _gone. Knew that the brunette was burned into Harry's skin, into his soul now. But, she'd probably always been like that. _

_Ginny knew that Harry had just lied a little to her, but she just herself be held by him, and pretended, for just a moment, that Harry Potter was hers. Just hers..._

As far as Ginny knew, that was the end of Hermione and Harry's affair. If anything happened after that, he concealed it from her. But whether he stayed faithful to her or not, Ginny couldn't help but wonder at times if he was truly seeing her. Was he picturing her, when they made love, heated and furious, as if they were both trying to hold onto whatever feelings they had for each other? Or did he see _her_? His "other woman"? Was it her he saw when they laughed together, hands on each other, smiles wide?

Harry might have stayed true to Ginny _physically _after that, but Ginny knew that his heart was somewhere else, and that was more damning that anything else.

When the news of Harry's death reached her, she couldn't believe. Not Harry. He'd survived Voldemort! How could he die _now_?

But it was true, and at Harry's funeral, she'd seen that pain on Hermione's face. It mirrored her own, and Ginny took some twisted comfort in knowing that Hermione felt her pain. The brunette finally understood what it was like not having Harry. Then she'd run off, Neville close behind her, and Ginny knew what Hermione was feeling, and the jealousy that Ginny felt towards Hermione fell away for one infinite second, one fleeting moment that Ginny fed for as long as she could. Hermione was just as heart grieved as Ginny, just as broken, just as filled with anguish.

Ginny understood Hermione.

Hermione understood Ginny.

It was this that brought another set of tears to Ginny's eyes. Even in death Harry gave Ginny pieces of understanding. Ginny didn't have to hate Hermione; they were both hurting. _Had _both been hurting.

When Hermione returned, Ginny wasted no time walking over to the brunette and wrapping her in a bone crushing hug, and to Ginny's surprise, Hermione returned the embrace as strongly. Two women, mourning the loss of the man they loved. The man they had stood by, had their hearts broken by, and had been loved by each in different ways.

Pulling apart, Ginny walked away from Hermione, back to her children. "Let's go home," she said, taking one last look at Harry's grave. "Goodbye, my love." She whispered, taking Lily and Albus by the hands and as a family the Potter's made their way home.

* * *

**So what did you think? I am not really a Ginny fan, but I felt that what I wrote was more emotionally charged than the normal "freak out and start throwing stuff" Ginny. I just wanted to do something different. Review pllleassse! -Starbuck. **


	3. Fallout

**Well, the writing bug bit me and this chapter was born. It's a flashback, to shortly after Harry and Hermione ended their affair. Again, this hasn't been beta'd so any retarded mistakes are definitely mine, and I apologize in advance. This is from Hermione's POV**

**

* * *

**

The enormous hall was filled with more people than Hermione could count. It was the anniversary of Harry's defeat of the dark wizard Voldemort, and it was a day of great celebration in which Harry held much of the wizarding world's attention.

But despite the public's eye mostly watching Harry Potter on this historic day, Hermione noticed more than a few of the local tabloid's minions taking photos of her, drink in hand. Vodka was Hermione's poison of choice this evening and she hoped it would help her forget the feelings which were sure to assault her tonight.

All the party guests' attention was drawn to the large double doors opening as someone called out "Harry Potter is here!". The crowd greeted the dark haired, green eyed wizard with applause as he stepped through the doors, Ginny by his side, a shy smile on his face.

Harry wasn't a fan of his fame. He didn't like constantly having his name in the tabloids and gossip columns. Hermione couldn't even remember all the times he and Ginny had separated, gotten pregnant, or kicked each other out according to the tabloids. There were dozens other rumors that ran rabid in the magazines as well.

Harry didn't like seeing his picture on the cover of magazines. But he hated seeing the nasty things they'd create about Hermione and Ron, which were almost always based on a "close source". Hermione and Ron had been subjected to almost as many sick rumors as Harry and Ginny had.

Hermione's eyes met Harry's as he and Ginny descended the ornate stone stairs that led directly into the hall. Her stomach fluttered, and she quickly took a sip of her drink to escape his intense gaze. When she looked back, her stomach twisted around itself at the look Ginny shot her. One that Hermione could only describe as disgusted hatred.

_That can only mean one thing, _Hermione thought to herself, swallowing hard. _As if I wouldn't suffer enough this evening. Now I have to face Ginny, too. _She scanned the crowd, looking for her red haired husband. He was nowhere in sight. Maybe, if Hermione played her cards right, she could avoid Harry and Ginny all together.

"Hermione," a voice spoke from behind her. Hermione froze, almost hoping that if she ignored him, he'd walk away.

_Did you honestly think he was going to leave you alone? _Hermione thought to herself.

"Hey, Hermione." He repeated, and slowly, Hermione turned around to face the man who'd haunted her thoughts for the entire week and hoped that she was holding the redness from her cheeks.

Harry was staring right at her, hands in the pockets of his suit pants, looking almost like his sixth year self.

"Y-yes?" Hermione finally got out, tearing her gaze from him. She couldn't look at him right now. Unconsciously, she held her drink between them, as if hoping that would serve as enough as a barrier to keep him away from her. "What do you want, Harry?" She knew her voice came out harsher than she'd meant it to, but honestly, what was he thinking speaking to her right now?

He hesitated a moment, and Hermione knew that he was wanting to talk about _them_, which was obviously very inappropriate for their current location and she knew he knew this. That was why he was hesitating; he didn't want to anger her.

Frankly, Hermione was already angry. Not necessarily at Harry, but...surely he wasn't so thick as to think that everything was okay between them right now.

Finally, after opening and closing his mouth a few times, he started. "I -" but just as he began to speak, Ginny came up beside him, a dangerous look in her eyes, and slipped an arm through his. Harry looked at her, and for a small moment Hermione saw the disappointment on Harry's face. She had to repress the urge to ask him what was wrong.

She knew what was wrong.

_She _was wrong.

_They _were wrong. So bloody right...but so wrong.

And now they were over.

"I was just going to ask you where Ron was," Harry finished lamely as he looked back at Hermione, desperately trying to convince Ginny that was what he was doing.

Hermione cleared her throat, taking another sip of her drink. "I honestly don't know, Harry." She answered, biting the inside of her cheek. "Last I knew he went off to find Neville."

As soon as she mentioned Neville's name she realized her mistake. Harry's eyes darkened, and Hermione quickly blurted, "Now if you'll please excuse me." She hurried off towards the bar, desperately needing a refill.

Who would've thought that the once carefree Weasleys and Potters would be so screwed up right now. Hermione wouldn't have.

But that was before the best mistake she ever made happened. She closed her eyes to ward off the barrage of emotions that flooded her.

When she opened her eyes, she wanted to close them all over again.

Ginny was beside her, ordering herself a drink. Hermione turned away from the red head who, without saying anything, had managed to make Hermione feel more ashamed than she ever had in her entire life.

"Hermione," Ginny greeted halfheartedly. Hermione turned back to her sister in law and tried to smile as honestly as she could.

"Ginny. Fancy seeing you here." _That was a stupid thing to say, _Hermione scolded herself. Ginny looked at Hermione's now refilled drink.

"Look at you, all posh now." Ginny said, and Hermione couldn't help but notice the blatant anger there, despite the innocent words.

_She knows. She definitely knows. Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. _It was all Hermione could think. She wasn't ready for this, not here, not now. She wasn't ready to accept the fact that she was facing Harry's wife, wasn't ready to face the bitter reality of what her and Harry had done.

Hermione didn't even try to smile any more. Neither did Ginny.

"Haven't seen you around much lately," Ginny observed. _Just get it over with, Gin. _Hermione thought as she nodded.

"Been busy," she managed to choke out, taking another sip of her drink.

Ginny let out a fake laugh, "Oh I'm sure. You do know a lot of husbands."

Hermione dropped her cup, her mouth wide open in shock. "Bloody..." Hermione trailed off of her curse, apologizing to the bartender for her carelessness, fighting the hot tears that filled her eyes the entire time.

A flash of light went off. _Oh just what I need. A bleeding picture of it! _Hermione grit her teeth, apologizing once more, flashing a look at Ginny - who was still expressionless - and hurried out of the great hall, wiping her eyes.

She didn't stop walking until she reached an empty room, with only a desk and bookshelf occupying the space. She shut the door quickly, and leaned against it, letting the tears finally flow onto her cheeks.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't face Ginny, not knowing that morally Hermione _was _the other woman. In Ginny's eyes, Hermione had seduced her husband away from her in an affair that had lasted too long.

_And yet not long enough. _A voice in Hermione's head whispered, and Hermione hated herself for it. To say she regretted the time she'd had with Harry would be a lie, and with all the sins Hermione had committed, she wasn't going to add feckless lies to the pile.

Ginny's words had stung, and Hermione wondered if that was what she'd allowed herself to be reduced to; a whore.

That was certainly how Hermione felt.

Looking down through blurry eyes, Hermione cursed herself. For her lack of control, for allowing herself to slip into the love she'd had for Harry for so long. She should have fought more, she should have turned Harry away when he came to her the first night they'd consummated their unspoken feelings.

But she hadn't. She hadn't turned Harry away because it was impossible for her to. She loved Harry, so deeply that it hurt to her very core. It filled her limbs, covered her heart, haunted her thoughts. She loved Harry Potter, but that love came with a price so dear, that it cut Hermione to her heart. Nothing in Hermione's life had come easy, and her love for Harry was no different.

Nothing Hermione did would change that, and in the end, Hermione didn't want to lose her love for Harry. It was worth the pain, and it wasn't like she could forget even if she wanted to.

A soft knock on the door and a murmured "Hermione" made the brunette wonder how he could always find her. Slowly, hoping that her eyes and cheeks weren't too red, she opened the door to Harry kind eyes.

"You - you shouldn't be here, Harry." Hermione spoke softly. It wouldn't look good for him to be with her right now.

"I don't care," Harry replied, walking into the room and closing the door behind him. "I know Ginny said something to upset you, and...I'm sorry that she did that. I told her to leave you alone, but...she has the Weasley temper."

"You don't have to explain her actions to me, Harry." Hermione replied, sighing. "She has every right to be furious."

"Hermione -"

"Harry, she's a woman. She's your _wife_. I don't blame her. Much." Hermione instantly regretted trying to bring a laugh to their current conversation, but shook it away, turning her back to him.

Suddenly, she felt hands slipping around her waist. She stiffened at the contact. _No, no. That's dangerous territory. We said we'd stop, and that means we have to. It'd be far too easy for us to fall into our feelings again. _

"Harry -"

"Shh, Hermione." Harry replied, and Hermione's breath caught in her throat at the pain evident in his words. "Just - just give me one more moment. Please."

Hermione slowly relaxed into his arms, no longer able to fight the tears. When Harry realized she was crying, he turned her towards him and wrapped his arms around her in a hug and for a moment Hermione let herself pretend they were teenagers again, in one of their few moments where they weren't worrying about the fate of the world.

"What are we going to do?" Hermione asked, not really expecting an answer. Harry didn't know. No one did. They were stuck like this, so close to each other, but so far away. If they were apart, they were miserable. If they were together, the guilt attacked them constantly.

"We're going to keep living. We do have children that we love." Harry replied, placing his lips against Hermione's neck. She was just about to gently push him away when Harry said, "Please...not yet." Hermione's hands fell back to her sides. "I just...I don't want to go back out there, knowing that we can't be."

Then Hermione decided, everything be damned, if this was her goodbye moment with Harry, she was going to show him just how she felt. She lifted his head and placed a seering kiss to his lips, slanting her mouth against his. Harry returned his kiss with as much fervour, both of them understanding that this was their final kiss, the last time that their lips would touch. Hermione never wanted it to end.

Their tongues intertwined, and Harry pulled her closer to him, pressing her flush against his body. Hermione twisted her tongue around Harry's, holding her hands to his chest, loving the heat that rushed from his lips as he let out a pant into her mouth.

After what seemed like forever, and yet nothing, they pulled apart, fresh tears on Hermione's face. Harry lifted a hand to her cheek, wiping away the moisture that gathered on her skin. "I'm so sorry I've done this to you," he whispered.

"You cannot just blame yourself," Hermione replied.

"Well I do. If I hadn't have come to you that night -"

"Then I wouldn't have known what its like to truly be loved. With Ron, he's always trying to change me, make me more like him. But with you, you accept me for who I am." Hermione finished, gently pulling away from Harry, putting as much distance between them as she could. After a moment, she asked, "How did Ginny take the news?"

"She was heartbroken," Harry muttered. "I'm such a terrible person, 'Mione. I really am."

"Stop it!" Hermione hissed. "Just stop. We're in this together. We're both to blame." She couldn't take being in the same room with him any longer, it just hurt too much. "Now go to your wife, Harry. Remind her that you love her. One day she'll trust you again."

"She'll never forgive me," Harry replied, nodding.

"Harry, I know Ginny. She will forgive you. She loves you."

_It's me she'll never forgive. _

Harry slipped his hands back into his pockets. "I love you, Hermione. I hope you understand that. I'm a bloody selfish git, but I really do love you."

"I - I love you too, Harry." Hermione replied, closing her eyes against the tears. "I love you. And because I love you, I'm ordering you to leave me right now. Go to your wife."

Harry started to open his mouth to speak.

"Just go, Harry." Hermione pleaded.

Harry nodded finally, opened the door and stepped out of the room, leaving Hermione in a crushing silence, filled with haunting allegations of just what her life would become now.

It was a few more minutes before Hermione magically fixed her make-up (she still carried her wand with her everywhere) and stepped back into the party, a convincing smile on her face. Scanning the crowd again, she made herself look away from Harry and Ginny and attempt to find Ron.

When Hermione found her husband speaking to Neville, she slipped an arm through his, and smiled at him as their eyes met.

"Hullo," Ron greeted Hermione cheerfully.

"Hello," she replied as they both returned their attention to Neville.

Neville nodded at Hermione, "Hello, Hermione." She smiled in return.

"Anyways, Harry and me have been chasing this guy for the past year now." Neville continued, "It's crazy because he doesn't use much magic, which is strange, because he does have magical talents."

Of course they'd be talking about the psychopath that Neville and Harry were pursuing. Reading about the case had made Hermione's blood run cold. The man was crazy, he'd killed several people, all of them family. No one knew what his motives were, because the family wouldn't tell anyone anything and were uncooperative with Harry and Neville at every turn.

"C'mon mate," Ron started, "You're only telling me what the papers are tellin' us. You've got to have more than _that_."

"Ron," Hermione started, "You know aurors can't go around telling people about their cases."

Neville looked around, then leaned close to Ron. "He likes using poison. Like, poisoned knives or darts. He stabbed the last victim _forty-one _times." Neville whispered.

"Why isn't that in the papers?" Hermione asked.

"I dunno!" Neville replied. "The whole case is very hush hush and we're not being told why."

"Well, that's just bollocks. I don't see the point in keeping details like that from everyone. You ever watch muggle news? They don't keep anything from you."

"Ron," Hermione rolled her eyes.

Harry had told Hermione the details about this case already, knowing that he could trust her, and hoping that she'd have some insight but she had limited her knowledge of it. The less she knew the better.

Hermione looked over to Harry, and saw him smiling at Ginny. Sadness, and yes, a pang of jealousy filled her as she saw them kiss, flashes going off all around them as reporters grabbed pictures of the Potters.

Looking away, she knew that she had to leave. Coming here had been a bad idea, and Hermione wanted to keep Ron as far away from Ginny as possible until Ginny seemed to settle down. Hermione didn't want Ginny telling Ron what had happened out of anger.

_Why tell Ron about what's already over? _Hermione thought to herself, and swallowed against the whisper in the back of her mind that told her, _That's just cowardice. You're afraid of his reaction. _

She just didn't want to cause him pain.

* * *

**So, if you read this...would you mind reviewing? Let me know what you think. :)**


End file.
